1
The things I love to think about in my childhood are nothing more than why birds fly, why flowers have various colors, and why the moon does not fall ... But when I went from childhood to teenagers, I began to think about the problem, you are simply I won't believe it, because these problems are very out of sync with my age.
This kind of discordant thinking came about when I broke up with my friend Jolin.
Qiao Lin is the same age as me. We are classmates in elementary school. He is the same in school, after school and in class. However, his extracurricular life is completely different from mine. A picture book, or lying in the bed and eating candy while listening to my father telling the beautiful fairy tales, but Qiao Lin is carrying a large wooden box under the hot sun and chanting loudly: "Ice sticks to be cut!
It was a Saturday afternoon, beside the street, I sat next to Qiao Lin. Qiao Lin lowered his little head, as if gazing at the various wheels flying past him, and the wheels raised a burst of dust. I looked at him silently, and suddenly, for the first time, I found a gloomy expression on his little face that a child like us should not have.
"I'm going to the country, maybe it will take a long time to come back." He said without expression.
"Why?" I asked in surprise.
"I don't know, maybe this should be the case."
"Is your father asking you to go?"
"I haven't had a father since I was a child." His head dangled lower, his eyes showing infinite sadness. Perhaps I should not have asked such a question hastily.
Qiao Lin seemed to understand that his grief made me uneasy, so he looked up and said to me:
"You are the son of a communist cadre, and me? I am the son of a counter-revolutionary. Sooner or later, we will break up. Maybe we should not have lived together."
"No, no, why do you say that?"
"I don't know, maybe I will take you bad, even if I don't take you bad, I won't allow us to be together anyway."
"Who? Who will not allow it?"
"I don't know, anyway, I don't want to allow ..."
"What's the matter with you? Are you uncomfortable?" I was very upset and continued to ask him.
"Be aware that the Communist Party and the counter-revolution cannot be together. You are the son of a Communist Party cadre, and I am the son of a counter-revolutionary. How can we be together? Moreover, we have grown up and you have to go to school every day. What? My family is running out of money. I have to sell popsicles every day. How can we stay together? My family has nothing, no money and no feelings. My father does n’t love me, and I do n’t want my father to love me. Do I want one? Do counterrevolutionaries love me? "
The phrase "You are the son of a Communist Party cadre, and I am the son of a counter-revolutionary element" makes me feel very strange. Why is it the same son, but should be divided into two different sons? I cannot understand the reason why these two sons should and must be separated. This is really strange.
Qiao Lin finally broke up with me.
For the first time in my mind, I had such a clear idea: the world is divided into two kinds of fathers and two kinds of sons, and the gift of life will not be fair.
2
Remember, Qiao Lin asked me to go home when school was over that day.
Qiao Lin told me about his parents for the first time.
Qiao Lin's father opened a small restaurant in Yancheng when he was young. This small restaurant was also the base of the New Fourth Army.
At that time, Qiao Lin's mother was tall and beautiful. She is simple, capable, and kind-hearted. She is a straightforward and enthusiastic person. Left and right, the village up and down, like to eat in this small restaurant. During the meal, there will also be a short chat with parents Li Family. My mother heard that someone was in a hurry, she would take the initiative to help. Whoever has troubles, the mother will also go to comfort. Who will lack food and food, she will be generous.
After the New Fourth Army was stationed in the vicinity of Yancheng, a group of 18- and nine-year-old female soldiers of the New Fourth Army suddenly came to the calm mountain village. That is the medical staff of the New Fourth Army Military Medical Department. They said, "To build the best military hospital here." People are surprised and unbelievable.
Qiao Lin's father called a group of folks to help the New Fourth Army clean up the weed garbage, clean the cobweb dust, paint the broken walls and the broken walls, repair the roof cantilever beams, and renovate several dilapidated farmhouses. The hospital is simple because of its ugliness, with bricks on the base, the bed is the bed, and the workbench is also made of old bricks ...
Qiao Lin's mother also often went to the hospital to run in and out, served tea and water, and said nothing to the female soldiers of the New Fourth Army. Yan Ran is like someone else working for her family.
In these days, Qiao Lin ’s mother mobilized the village women to help take care of the wounded and sick, make military shoes, and make military food ... Qiao Lin ’s father did not know that Qiao Lin ’s mother became the first secret Communist Party member in the village. Qiao Lin ’s mother became more active after joining the party. She actively mobilized her husband and the men in the village to help the New Fourth Army carry stretchers and transport ammunition.
Soon, the medical staff of the New Fourth Army Military Medical Department received an order to move northward within a specified time and rushed to Yan'an. At this time, a female soldier had just given birth to a daughter. After receiving the order to move north to Yan'an, she left her daughter and entrusted Qiao Lin's parents to adopt him. Qiao Lin's parents said goodbye to these medical personnel of the New Fourth Military Medical Department.
Qiao Lin told me that the daughter left by the female soldier was his current sister. The family only knew that the female soldier's surname was Yang. After that, there was no news, and he lost contact during the war of liberation.
Qiao Lin's parents went to Shanghai to work, and Qiao Lin was born when Shanghai was liberated. His parents also told the adopted girl about her life. They always wanted to find her biological mother.
Unexpectedly, unexpected disaster came. When suppressing the counter-revolutionary movement, Qiao Lin's grandfather was suddenly classified as a landlord, and his grandfather was killed. The grandmother refused to accept the complaint and said that her son had adopted a girl from the New Fourth Army. The girl now lives in Shanghai with her son. The organization sent people to Shanghai to find Qiao Lin's parents and asked for the adoption certificate.
At the beginning of the liberation of Shanghai, Greater Shanghai was more than just the magnificence of the "World Architecture Expo". Ruins, garbage, epidemics, and even corpses and coffins exposed on the ground were everywhere.
The day after the liberation of Shanghai, the Shanghai Health Bureau, which had just been in operation, summoned relevant personnel to study the remediation plan, and organized forces to assault garbage. Within a week, more than 15,000 tons of accumulated garbage, 3189 tons of sandbags and 3,034 floating burials were buried. After 1950, the "Cleaning Movement" was incorporated into the "Patriotic Health Movement" for many years. And until the end of 1951, the funeral management office of the Shanghai Municipal Health Bureau continued to receive a large number of letters from the people requesting the handling of exposed bodies.
At that time, the corpses were more concentrated on the Xietu Road and the Quzhen Road (Quxi Road). Sister Qiao Lin and her parents lived in that shanty village. The exposed corpses floating there are up to four or five layers at a time, the smell is overflowing, and the wild dogs are fighting for food. According to statistics, from June 1949 to the end of October 1954, Shanghai removed a total of 240,000 floats.
Qiao Lin said that his father was the cleaner who cleaned the exposed corpses. Qiao Lin's father is an honest man and has no culture or good words.The organization sent someone to Shanghai to find Qiao Lin's father and asked him to show proof of adopting the girls of the New Fourth Army. He didn't know how to explain it for a while. Qiao Lin's mother was very stubborn. At that time, she was also a cadre in charge of the "Patriotic Health Movement" in the streets. Qiao Lin's mother angrily scolded the people sent from Yancheng, but Qiao Lin's parents could not produce a certificate and could not find a witness. As a result, her mother was framed, accusing her of impersonating revolutionary history, was removed from her post, and expelled from the party. Father endured. The mother refused, and she began to scold the organization.
Qiao Lin said sadly to me: Father and sister were coerced and forced to expose their mother's remarks. Mother was beaten into a counter-revolution. The father was forced to choose to divorce his mother with the help and education of the organization, expressing a clear line with counter-revolutionaries. Since then the whole family has fallen.
The father was allowed to stay in Shanghai with his sister. His mother was forcibly repatriated to his hometown in Yancheng, and his mother took Qiao Lin away from Shanghai.
Qiao Lin said to me in tears: I had to leave school and leave Shanghai. My mother taught me that I must have a good time, so that when I grow up, I must find the female soldier of the New Fourth Army.
Qiao Lin broke up with me, how should he live in the future? Live on? Can he still study? Who else can he play with? I worried about Jolin.
3
Happy, golden, the childhood that is gone forever, like a breeze, gently drifted away. All I have left are precious memories of my childhood, which made me feel happy. However, whenever I think of Qiao Lin, I curl up into a ball, get into the bed, and wrap my small body tightly with the quilt.
"Why are you sleeping like a hedgehog?" Father said to me. "Straighten your legs."
"I don't want to sleep, I am, I am thinking of Qiao Lin." I pushed the quilt away and climbed up. I hugged my father's neck and told him Qiao Lin broke up with me.
Father has no words. He stroked my scalp with his hand, and then grabbed my hand tightly in the big, warm palm of his hand, pressing it tightly on his lips.
The room was silent, half bright and half dark.
I snuggled my head in my father's arms, panting, holding his neck tighter with my hands, and said to my father: "Dad, my good father, how much I love you!"
My father smiled lightly and hugged my head with both hands, staring at my cheeks, nose and eyes! After a while, let me sit on his lap.
"Do you really love me very much?" Father said for a moment in silence.
"Really, Dad."
"Remember, you really love me, then never forget me. Don't forget me at any time. You will not forget it?" Father said after taking me to bed and letting me lie down, be careful The ground was covered with a quilt.
"Sleep, my child." The father left.
4
In life, my father became the source of my joy. But his father's temper was strange.
My father was aggressive, but he was too confident; his father was generous, but he was too stubborn. He looked down on the people around him and even thought that others were mediocre. It seemed that only he was engaged in a career. This was also due to his natural pride, and on the other hand, he was annoyed by his ingenuity. There are too few achievements. So he became addicted to smoking, drinking, and even complaining in vain. He squinted his nose at things, and always felt that his life was still not what he wanted.
I still do n’t understand until now that my father is a very smart person. Why do n’t I understand the truth: no matter how good the apple will be, it will sometimes rot.
His father was of medium size, with good facial features, walking with firm and rhythmic steps, and his eyes were very divine.
My father likes music very much, so he is confident that music is the earliest art of mankind. Music appeared as a second language long before the first language of mankind appeared. He praised that music is a shorthand for feelings, a kind of feeling that can't be expressed in words, and can reflect all kinds of emotions of various nationalities and countries, adults, children, men, women. He also said that music is inflammatory.
To prove his argument, he told me about Beethoven's example. When Beethoven once played the ninth symphony, the audience applauded as many as five times. You know, at that time, the Austrian emperor could only applaud three times! So the police said that Beethoven's performance was riotous. When Beethoven died, there were 100,000 funerals for him, and the police said it was a riot.
Although my father had a whole set of inflammatory theories about music, none of us was instigated by the music he usually hummed.
Father's favorite song is Yue Fei's "Manjianghong". As long as he is happy, he will cut his hands behind his back and walk around in the room, singing with a long mouth in his mouth:
Angrily rushed to the crown, resting on the lap, Xiaoxiao rain break.
Lift our sight, the sky and shouts, grand, vehement.
Thirty merits of dust and earth, eight thousand miles of clouds and moon,
Don't wait for leisure, white boy head, empty and sorrowful.
Jing Kang is ashamed, and he is still in the snow.
Drive a long car to break through the lack of He Lanshan.
Aspiring to eat Huru meat, ridiculously talk about drinking Hun blood.
To start from scratch, clean up the old rivers and mountains, skyward.
In my mind, my father is such a person.
Sometimes I try to go back to those childhood scenes and watch my father sing "Man Jiang Hong", but what surprised me is that as soon as I entered the state of my previous dream, I found it all seemingly unreal; The most amazing thing is that this kind of memory can't add any more fun to me. On the contrary, my soul will cast a bleak shadow.
5
My mother and father are completely different, almost two kinds of personality, aspirations are also different. I haven't figured out in my life how they fell in love and became married.
My mother has been intertwined with those housewives for a long time, and has developed a bad habit of no pursuit and ideal. In her spare time, her mother also loves to see some comics. Among them is the story of "Liao Zhai". Talking about ghosts and saying gods has become a joyous pastime. However, she is an atheist, and often uses her atheism consciousness to scold those devout good men and women and express contempt for them. Not believing in ghosts and spirits makes her always gaze around her with confidence. Even if a happy family was destroyed, she was still very confident and proud of her ability. Be proud of the family that you personally shaped.
"He has two twists on his head, and his temper is stubborn."
This is what my mother often talks about to those women. Whenever she chats with the women who have been together for years, she will endlessly talk about her little son-me. I didn't understand it at the time, but now I recall that in my mother's mind, wasn't it both pain and joy?
"When I gave birth to him, this little red guy almost killed my life! If it weren't for the obstetrician, I would have tortured this little red guy long ago."
Sometimes, my mother would suddenly stop the needlework in her hand and pull me hard to find evidence to torture her. She stripped off my tousled soft hair and said aloud to the nosy women:
"Look, you guys come and see, how deep these two hairpins are spinning, stubborn, just like the big red guy in Iraq!"
You must imagine how embarrassing I am, I hate those women, and complain that I have such a mother. As soon as my mother's hand was released, I closed my lips tightly and stood beside her, staring at the women who were laughing.
"You can hang an oil bottle again!"
"Nong's young son is really stubborn!"
The woman who chewed her tongue was chattering again. I hate them very much. I turned around and left them without looking back.
This is my childhood life, and whenever I recall it, my mother and those rap women gather together and talk about it. Until now, such unpleasant thinking has often caused me to complain. When I complain about my mother, I think of my father, not just complaining, but feeling pain, because how can I forget the days of living with my father. The fate brought to my father's experience is too unfair.
My mother said I was stubborn, said I tortured her, and pulled me over, pulled away the hair curl on my hair as a proof, to show those women who love tongues to see how embarrassing and embarrassing I was, she ignored it Yes, it seems that she should treat me like this, and mothers should have such privileges on their sons. This privilege is the same for generations in China. People are accustomed to it, and so is mothers.
But me? I'm sick of it, in my little mind, there is no concept of privilege that this generation is accustomed to. I hate that my mother has such privileges for me.
"In this case, why should I be born into the world?"
"Ah-little red guy, you still have to talk back!"
Mother blushed, she realized my disgust! But she taught me my "dare to talk back" ...
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