Bloody marriage （雪域寓言）

 

Bloody marriage

 

Maybe many people don’t know what the shocking bad habits of the bloody Yuan Dynasty were? That is: Newlyweds will drop their first child to death.

When the Burmese musician Duoji was chatting in Myanmar, he told Agudengba, Azhuo and Chu Sanxing about a bad habit of fear that was popular in the Yuan Dynasty.

When Dorje talked about those things in Mongolia, he said:

In the Yuan Dynasty, people in the Mongolian territories were divided into two types: grassland hukou and rural hukou. People with grassland household registration enjoy privileges, while people with rural household registration are exclusively exploited by grassland people. If a grassland man kills a rural man, he only needs to pay for a donkey. The lives of rural people in the Yuan Dynasty were not valuable, let alone other aspects.

For example, when the Yuan Dynasty government ruled southern China, it assigned a family of Mongolians to each village. They did not work, but were supported by the people in the village. If the people in the village have something delicious to eat, they must give it to this family first; if they have something fun to eat, they must give it to this family first. Not only that, when people in the village marry a daughter-in-law, they also send the new daughter-in-law to this family first.

In order to keep the Han blood pure, many rural Han people will throw the first child born to their new wife to death because they suspect that the child has Mongolian genes. Only the second child can continue the family line and retain the Han bloodline. Are the Mongols too evil or the Han people too stupid? No one can give the right answer.

When Dorje talked about this, he said:

The 14th century of the Yuan Dynasty was the era of the most frequent natural disasters in the world, and China was no exception. Generally speaking, natural disasters are precursors to peasant uprisings. In order to prevent the Han people in the village from rebelling, all the knives in the villagers' homes were stored in the Mongolian homes. When they wanted to cut vegetables, they had to file a report and apply.

However, the Mongols took over the world and obtained treasures and beauties, but their fighting spirit slowly disappeared.

The person in power in the Yuan Dynasty at this time was Prime Minister Tuotuo. This man was quite smart and knew that blindly putting pressure on the people would not work. Tuotuo keenly saw that the biggest cause of hungry people was the flooding of the Yellow River. So he sounded the charge to regulate the Yellow River, and hundreds of thousands of people were captured to work together to repair the Yellow River. With hundreds of thousands of people gathering together, it would be strange if nothing happens. They originally hated the Mongols deeply. Originally, there were not many people in their own homes and they did not dare to fight openly. Nowadays, all the haters have gathered together, and everyone is already ready for a bloody battle with the Mongols.

Although Prime Minister Tuotuo went everywhere to provide relief, the imperial court had no money. After layers of exploitation, only a little got into the hands of the people. The common people realized that they would die anyway, so it was better to fight for their lives. Mentally, the poor common people had long been ready to rebel.

The military strength of the Mongolian army is indeed world-class, but the Mongolian army at that time had been corrupted; more importantly, the territory of the Yuan Dynasty was too large. In order to defend the land, the army had to be dispersed in various places to truly suppress the army of hundreds of thousands of people. There are very few.

So the Mongols kept printing money and creating inflation, and the money that the people finally saved turned into waste overnight. In order to get more money, the Mongols also invented a special tax method-contracting the tax revenue of each area to businessmen. The Mongolian rulers only cared about how much money the businessman could pay, and never cared about the businessman's method of collecting taxes. Therefore, in order to collect more taxes, businessmen often resort to any means. At this time, the Yuan Dynasty regime can be said to have been rotten to the bone.

However, a skinny camel is bigger than a horse. Even though the Mongols were experiencing internal strife and corruption and adopted a high-pressure policy towards the Central Plains, their rule was still very stable. If no extraordinary events occur, the Mongols can simply enjoy the good times.

Unfortunately, at this time, a religion called the White Lotus began to organize the uprising. Before long, the people revolted. For a time, the world was full of uprising flags. Since then, Zhu Yuanzhang devoted himself to this uprising, and he and his descendants have been engaged in a war to pursue the Mongols.

The unified dynasty established by the Yuan Dynasty surpassed previous ones in terms of territory, ethnic groups, foreign exchanges, transportation construction, and policies. Needless to say, the territory of the Yuan Dynasty is well known to everyone. There are even more integrated ethnic groups, and they are very open to foreign exchanges. They have many contacts with countries all over the Eurasian continent. The rulers of the Yuan Dynasty adhered to the principle and tolerance of opening up to the outside world and embracing all rivers. In order to strengthen and stabilize its rule, communicate with other places and communicate with the central government, the Yuan Dynasty established a developed post system, which made transportation convenient and frequent. All this has provided great convenience for economic, cultural and material communication in various places.

But the wealth of the Mongolians in the Yuan Dynasty first depends on whether they are the Mongolian royal family, nobles, bureaucrats or civilians. It depends on whether they are Mongolian people living in the farming areas of the Central Plains or herdsmen living in the grassland pastoral areas. The wealth of the royal family is no different from that of other eras. As for the Mongolian nobles living in the Mobei region, many of them still use the number of pastures and livestock they own as their wealth standard. Of course, it is not limited to these resources. Under the unified pattern of the Yuan Dynasty, communication between various places was convenient, and many wealth and resources in the Central Plains would also flow to the north.

In the end, the Yuan Dynasty suddenly declined from a huge territory to a land with only a few tents left, and finally they were all swept away by Zhu Yuanzhang's Ming army. The Han people finally ended the era of being ruled by the Mongols. However, the Han rule of the Ming Dynasty was finally overthrown by the Manchus, and the Qing Dynasty once again rewrote the history of Han unification.

Dorje sighed:

These evil deeds and scandalous history of the Yuan Dynasty are rarely mentioned. This is indeed an objective phenomenon.

Compared with other eras, there is indeed a phenomenon that has been ignored in the history of the Yuan Dynasty. For example, the Song Dynasty, Tang Dynasty, Qin and Han Dynasties, Qing Dynasty, and even the Three Kingdoms, Wei and Jin Dynasties are all eras that people talk about. The history of the Yuan Dynasty itself has a certain degree of complexity. The complexity lies in the fact that the multi-ethnic groups and the Mongolian-dominated rulers brought many political, economic, cultural and other elements that were unfamiliar to the Central Plains, as well as a large number of cultures and people from Eurasia. Enter. At the same time, in the vast territory, there are many different regions that need to be integrated under the unified politics. All of this runs through the entire history of the Yuan Dynasty, making this period a turbulent, changeable and complex situation. For ordinary people, General modular cognition creates difficulties.

However, historical facts are not dependent on people's objective understanding. They will neither become enriched because of people's attention nor disappear automatically because of people's neglect. The history that happened in the past exists objectively, so the only difference is that current people’s cognition.

Duoji sang a new folk song "Song of the Dynasty":

 

After Xia, Yin, Shang, Western and Eastern Zhou, Spring and Autumn and Warring States, Emperor Qin harvested,

The Western Han Dynasty, the Eastern Han Dynasty, Wei, Shu and Wu, the Western Jin Dynasty and the Eastern Jin Dynasty also included the Five Hus.

Murong, the Jie family of the Huns, and Tuoba, the Northern Queen, became the lord.

Song, Qi, Liang and Chen were the Southern Dynasties, and Northern Wei, Qi and Zhou were called the Northern Dynasties.

The Northern Zhou Dynasty destroyed the Qi Dynasty and passed on to the Sui Dynasty, and the Sui Dynasty destroyed the Chen Dynasty and unified it again.

The Sui Dynasty destroyed the Tang Dynasty and became prosperous and powerful. Each of the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms became kings.

Khitan arose in the north and was named Liao Ru Bianliang.

During the Five Dynasties, Liang, Tang, Jin, Han and Zhou dynasties, Chen Qiaotou was founded in the Song Dynasty.

The Jurchens established the Jin Dynasty and destroyed the Liao Dynasty first, and then defeated Bianjing in the Northern Song Dynasty.

The Southern Song Dynasty settled in the south of the Yangtze River, and Mongolia emerged as a country named Yuan.

The Jin Dynasty was destroyed, the Song Dynasty was destroyed, and the Yuan Dynasty ruled for ninety years.

There were a total of sixteen monarchs in the Ming Dynasty, and they were named Houjin in the early days of Manchuria.

Later, the name of the Jin Dynasty was changed to Qing Dynasty, and it was called the imperial capital Beijing.

The people awakened to the revolution, and the Qing emperor abdicated and the Republic of China was established.

Nowadays, one country is divided into two systems, and the mainland and Taiwan long for reunification.

 

血腥的婚姻（雪域寓言）

 

血腥的婚姻

 

也许很多人并不知道血腥元朝的惊世恶习是什么？那就是：新婚夫妇会摔死自己的第一个孩子。

缅甸音乐家多吉在缅甸闲聊时，对阿古登巴、阿卓、楚三星谈到了一件元朝时流行的恐惧恶习。

多吉谈到蒙古那些事时说道：

在元朝，蒙古人领地中的人们被分为草原户口和农村户口两种。有草原户口的人是享有特权的，有农村户口的人则是专门供草原人剥削的。草原人杀死一个农村人，只需赔偿一头驴子就行了。元朝农村人的生命不值钱，别的方面就更不用说了。

譬如，元朝政府统治中国南方地区时，就在每村派了一家蒙古人，他们不干活，却靠这一村人养活。村里的人有好吃的，得先给这家人吃；有好玩的，也先给这家人玩。不仅如此，村里人娶媳妇，也要把新媳妇先送到这家。

为了保持汉族血统的纯净，很多农村汉人都会把新媳妇生出的第一个孩子摔死，因为怀疑这孩子有蒙古人的基因。只有第二个孩子才能传宗接代，保留汉族人的血统。这究竟是蒙古人太恶，还是汉人太蠢？没人能给出正确的答案。

多吉谈到此事时说道：

元朝所处的14世纪是世界上自然灾害最频繁的年代，中国也不例外。一般来说，自然灾害是导致农民起义的先兆。为了防止村里汉人造反，村里人家中的刀都要存放在蒙古人家中，要切菜了，还得打报告申请。

但是，蒙古人占了天下，得到了财宝、美女，他们的斗志却慢慢地消失了。

此时的元朝掌权者是宰相脱脱，此人还算聪明，知道一味对老百姓施压是不行的。脱脱敏锐地看到产生饥民的最大原因是黄河水患。于是他吹响了治理黄河的冲锋号，十几万老百姓被抓来一起修黄河。十几万人聚在一起，不出乱子才怪呢。他们原本就对蒙古人恨之入骨，原先在自己家中，人数不多，不敢明着斗。现如今，仇恨的人都聚在一起了，大家伙早就准备好要和蒙古人血战了。

尽管宰相脱脱到处救济，无奈朝廷没钱，经过层层剥削，真正到老百姓手里的也就一点点。老百姓意识到反正都是死，还不如拼命，在思想上，贫困的老百姓早就做好造反的准备了。

蒙古军队的军事实力的确是世界一流，但当时的蒙古军队已经腐化；更重要的是，元朝的版图太大了，为了守住土地，军队不得不分散在各地，真正镇压这十几万老百姓的军队就少之又少了。

于是蒙古人不停地印刷货币，制造通货膨胀，老百姓好不容易攒下的钱一夜之间就变成了废物。为了获得更多的钱，蒙古人还发明了一种特殊的税收方法——将每块地区的税收都承包给商人。蒙古的统治者只关心这个商人能交上多少钱，至于商人收税的手段从不关心。因此，为了收到更多的税，商人往往不择手段。此时的元朝政权可以说已经腐朽到骨髓了。

不过，瘦死的骆驼比马大。即使蒙古人内耗、腐化，对中原地区采取高压政策，但他们的统治还是很稳固的。如果没有非常事件发生，蒙古人完全可以坐享大好河山。

很不幸，这个时候，一个叫白莲教的宗教开始了起义的组织工作。没多久，老百姓们起义了。一时间，天下到处都是起义的旗帜。此后，朱元璋投入到这场起义之中，他和他的子孙一直进行着追击蒙古人的战争。

元朝建立的大一统王朝，疆域、族群、对外交流、交通建设、政策等各方面，都超过以往。元代的疆域自不必说，人所共知。整合的族群更是众多，对外交流非常开放，与欧亚大陆各地各国都有许多往来。元朝统治者秉持对外开放，海纳百川的原则和气度。元朝为了加强和稳固统治，沟通各地之间的联络以及与中央的沟通管辖，建立了发达的驿站体系，使得交通便利，往来频繁。这一切都为各地的经济文化往来，物资沟通提供了极大的便利。

但是元代蒙古人的财富，首先要看是蒙古皇室、贵族、官僚还是平民，要看是生活在中原农耕地区的蒙古百姓，还是生活在草原牧区的牧民。皇室贵族的财富，和其他时代无甚差别。而生活在漠北地区的蒙古贵族，许多人还是以拥有牧场、牲畜的多少为财富标准。当然也不仅仅局限于这些资源，在元代大一统格局之下，各地沟通便利，中原的许多财富和资源也会流向北方。

最终，元朝从偌大的版图一下子没落到了只剩几顶帐篷的土地，最后全被朱元璋的大明军队扫荡了。汉族人终极了被蒙古人统治的年代。但是大明的汉人统治最后又被满族人推翻了，大清再次改写了汉人一统的历史。

多吉感叹道：

有关元朝的这些恶行和丑史，很少被人提及，这一点确实是客观存在的现象。

与其他时代相比，元朝历史确实存在一定的被忽略的现象，比如宋代、唐代、秦汉、清代，甚至三国、魏晋，都是人们津津乐道的时代。元朝历史本身存在一定的复杂性，复杂在多元族群、蒙古族为主导的统治者带来了许多中原地区不熟悉的政治经济文化等许多方面的元素，还有大量的欧亚地区的文化和人群进入。同时幅员辽阔的疆土上，有许多不同的地域需要在大一统的政治之下被整合，这一切都贯穿了整个元朝历史，使得这个时段呈现出动荡、多变和复杂的局面，对于普通人的一般性模块化认知，造成了困难。

但是，历史事实是不以人的客观认识为转移的，既不会因为人们的重视而变得丰富，也不会因为人们的忽略而自动消失，过去发生的历史是客观存在，因此区别只在于当下人们的认知。

多吉唱起了一首新民谣《朝代歌》：

 

夏后殷商西东周，春秋战国秦皇收，

西汉东汉魏蜀吴，西晋东晋兼五胡。

匈奴羯氏羌慕容，拓跋代北后称雄。

宋齐梁陈是南朝，北魏齐周称北朝。

北周灭齐传於隋，隋又灭陈再统一。

隋灭唐兴称富强，五代十国各称王。

契丹兴起在北方，建号为辽入汴梁。

五代梁唐晋汉周，宋朝建国陈桥头。

女真建金先灭辽，打破汴京北宋消。

南宋偏安在江南，蒙古兴起国号元。

灭金灭宋归一统，元朝统治九十年。

明代共传十六君，满洲初起号后金。

后金国号改为清，入关称帝都北京。

人民觉悟革命起，清帝退位民国立。

如今一国分两制，大陆台湾盼统一。

 

The groom moves into the bride's home

 

The groom moves into the bride's home

 

When the Burmese musician Dorje was chatting with Agudenba, Azhuo, and Chu Sanxing on the banks of the Irrawaddy River in Myanmar, he talked about things in Mongolia, which mostly involved the politics, military, culture, and education of the Yuan Dynasty. Dawa and Xiang Qima were just observers, with little interest. Dorje's daughter Yadan noticed this. So Yadan said to his father: "Can you tell some stories about Mongolian marriages and customs? Dawa and Xiang Qima will definitely be curious."

Agudengba, Azhuo, and Chu Sanxing laughed and said: We also like to hear it!

Chu Sanxing added: I heard that the Mongolians have a system of matrimonial marriage in which men step in on the door. Mr. Duoji might as well tell some stories about this.

Duoji nodded and said:

China has been a male-centered society since ancient times, and all political and economic activities revolve around male-centeredness. After the Han Dynasty, the Three Cardinal Guidelines and Five Constant Rules of Ethics were emphasized, dividing people into three, six or nine levels, especially women who were always inferior to men.

Based on this concept, the status of a son-in-law with a woman as the main economic subject cannot help but be severely discriminated against and even suppressed, so that he is laughed at and called a masculine woman. In particular, various dynasties and generations have established laws to protect male-centered inheritance of family names and other systems. In this case, the son-in-law has no power at all.

In addition, in ancient China, clans traditionally lived together, and having a son-in-law often meant living together with the woman’s entire extended family. She had to face not only the woman’s parents, brothers and sisters, but also the woman’s entire clan. There will inevitably be various conflicts within the clan. The low-status son-in-law has no say and actually faces tremendous pressure.

Son-in-law marriage is widespread among the Mongolian people, so this form of marriage is relatively accepted for customary reasons. In addition, the Mongolian people are not influenced by Confucius' ethics and pay more attention to practicality, so they are relatively more tolerant of son-in-laws. The Yuan Dynasty was a country established by the grassland peoples, so surrogate marriage was legalized among the Han people.

Mr. Dorje added:

China has long established a male-dominated society, and all social life revolves around men. Women are often reduced to men's vassals, and their roles in politics, economy, ancestor worship, etc. are basically excluded. Women cannot serve as officials and have basically no inheritance rights. Women are not seen in sacrifices. In family life, men are completely respected.

The Chinese marriage system based on this is naturally based on men marrying women. After marriage, a woman's family property is controlled by her husband. However, in addition to the mainstream marriage status of the Han people, there has always been a special form of marriage, which is secondary marriage. Cumulative marriage takes women as the main body. The woman does not marry outside the family, but the man enters the daughter's family and becomes her son-in-law.

This form of secondary marriage has a very long history. The earliest secondary marriage can be traced back to the Zhou Dynasty. Based on the traditional concept of male superiority and female inferiority, this form of marriage is naturally subject to discrimination and is even explicitly suppressed, restricting some basic rights. But in a special period like the Yuan Dynasty ruled by the Mongols, a son-in-law had its special status.

Mr. Duoji elaborated on the Han people’s attitude toward ancestral marriage before the Yuan Dynasty in more detail:

Starting from the earliest mention of "bringing a son-in-law" in the "Gongyang Zhuan" in the Spring and Autumn Period, the form of a son-in-law has begun to appear in history. There are many records about a son-in-law in the past dynasties. This shows that the form of marriage outside the mainstream of son-in-law is not an accidental example. It should be of considerable scale, enough to attract the attention of public opinion and even the ruling class. Records of secondary marriages in historical books, except for special customs in certain periods, basically suppress and belittle this attitude, and even suppress and regulate it from the legal level.

What is shocking is that the Han people equated a son-in-law with a criminal.

During the Qin and Han Dynasties, the son-in-law was classified as a low-class person. In addition to having no economic status, he was also forcibly recruited and driven to the forefront to serve as cannon fodder during sieges and wars. In peacetime, he was also recruited with criminals, businessmen, etc. first, and permanently guarded the border. A son-in-law is "like a wart, a superfluous thing." Treating a son-in-law as a superfluous thing shows his low status. This situation of the Han people's son-in-law lasted until the Wei, Jin and Five Dynasties. By then the Han had lost absolute control.

However, although in later generations of the Tang Dynasty, the adopted son-in-law was no longer regarded as the same as a criminal and could be sent to the army at any time, the basic attitude towards the adopted son-in-law did not change much after that. The adopted son-in-law does not even have basic economic power, let alone political power. The behavior of a son-in-law leaving his biological parents to serve other people's parents is particularly unacceptable to the Confucian ethics that advocate filial piety. Therefore, in the past dynasties, the adopted sons-in-law could not serve as officials or participate in the imperial examination.

Dorje added:

This situation changed slightly during the Tang and Song Dynasties. During the Tang Dynasty, the son-in-law could obtain part of the property and even start his own business. For example, Li Bai, a great poet in the Tang Dynasty, was his son-in-law twice. By the Song Dynasty, marrying a bride became a fashion in some areas, and a son-in-law could obtain property inheritance rights according to the will. But generally speaking, the attitude towards a son-in-law from the people to the country's laws is that they are still regarded as despicable. However, there was no explicit legal regulation of this form of marriage before the Yuan Dynasty. It was not until the Yuan Dynasty that this marriage system was recognized by the government in laws.

Azhuo asked:

Why did the Yuan Dynasty change its attitude towards son-in-law?

Dorje replied:

The Yuan Dynasty was a special period in Chinese history. It was the first political power established by the nomadic Mongols. Therefore, the social life of the Yuan Dynasty was inevitably influenced by Mongolian customs, and the legal system of the Yuan Dynasty was also different from previous dynasties.

Mongolian marriages have various forms, and the marriage form of son-in-law is very common among Mongolian marriages. Genghis Khan once married into his wife as his son-in-law, so the Mongolian rulers also attached great importance to this form of marriage. When formulating laws, they regulated this form of marriage in detail. For the first time, the Yuan Dynasty recognized the social status of the adopted son-in-law, especially allowing the adopted son-in-law to enjoy the right to inherit property, and not prohibiting participation in the imperial examination. The adopted son-in-law had the right to hold official positions. This official recognition and change of the official attitude towards bride-in-law laid the foundation for the widespread popularity of bride-in-law during the Yuan Dynasty.

During the Yuan Dynasty, according to the customs of the Han people, wedding gifts were extravagant, and both rich and poor people required a large amount of property as betrothal gifts. This situation greatly damaged the production and life of the people at the bottom. The Yuan Dynasty government implemented legal regulations on this, but it could never be solved. Therefore, many Han men who cannot afford to marry can only choose to become various forms of son-in-law.

Based on the customs of its own nation, the Yuan Dynasty government did not discriminate against the marriage of a son-in-law. At the same time, it made detailed and clear legal provisions on the marriage of a son-in-law. Moreover, it can be seen from the historical materials handed down that the judicial personnel of the Yuan Dynasty also handled marriage disputes based on these laws.

The Yuan Dynasty made clear regulations on the basic procedures for the marriage of a son-in-law, such as the marriage certificate, betrothal, and matchmaking:

During the Yuan Dynasty, the marriage certificate became the legal document of marriage for the first time. The marriage by marriage requires both men and women to write down the form, time limit, amount of betrothal money, rights and obligations of the bride-in-law, etc., all of which must be clearly stated so that they can be used as evidence in case of disputes. Once a marriage contract is signed, it has legal effect and cannot be violated. The laws of the Yuan Dynasty made clear and detailed provisions on various violations of the marriage contract. Compared with a current contract, a marriage document protects the interests of both parties from a legal perspective. In fact, the form of secondary marriage was recognized and the social status of the secondary son-in-law was improved.

The betrothal of a son-in-law is different from that of a normal marriage. Generally, it is from the woman to the man. In some forms of secondary marriage, the man to the woman. The laws of the Yuan Dynasty made detailed provisions on the situation and quantity of betrothal wealth according to the different forms of auxiliary marriage. The amount of the betrothal gift must be written clearly in the marriage contract by both parties, so that it can be used as a basis for future litigation. In addition, the laws of the Yuan Dynasty have detailed provisions on whether to return the betrothal wealth under various circumstances when disputes arise. Such precedents can also be seen in historical materials handed down.

Matchmakers have always played an important role in traditional Chinese marriages. However, it was not until the judiciary of the Yuan Dynasty that the responsibilities of the matchmaker in the marriage relationship were clarified. On important marriage documents, the matchmaker, as the facilitator, must sign to show that he is responsible for the marriage. This system restricts the matchmaker from deceiving both men and women for profit reasons when promoting marriage, which will lead to problems in future marriages, maintains the stability of the marriage, and avoids disputes.

The Yuan Dynasty's legal regulations on secondary marriage actually protected the rights of both parties to the marriage and were also a measure to deal with numerous disputes over secondary marriage. For the first time in Chinese history, it clearly protects the rights and interests of the male party in a secondary marriage.

Duoji smiled and said to Agu Demba, A Zhuo and Chu Sanxing:

Therefore, on the one hand, the Yuan Dynasty government changed its attitude of discriminating against the bride-in-law and protected the economic and political rights of the bride-in-law through legal provisions. On the other hand, the folk custom of high betrothal gifts emerged. The combination of these two aspects formed the phenomenon of matrimonial marriage that was popular in the Yuan Dynasty.

Chu Sanxing asked:

The laws of the Yuan Dynasty regulated and protected the marriage of a son-in-law, but why is this form of marriage still common from ancient times to the present?

Dorje replied:

There are probably two fundamental reasons for this: one is economic reasons; the other is the impact of the concept of continuing the family line.

The main consideration for a man to become a son-in-law is finance. During the Yuan Dynasty, generous betrothal gifts were popular, and children from poor families could not afford them, so they had no choice but to become son-in-laws. During the Yuan Dynasty, some children of wealthy families also chose to become son-in-laws because the law gave them corresponding inheritance rights and for economic reasons. Or there may be too many men in the family to bear the betrothal gifts one by one, and some of them can only choose to become son-in-laws. Those countless orphans whose families were destroyed in the war were unable to find wives themselves, so they could only become son-in-laws. In addition, there is also the consideration of avoiding taxes and serving the country, all of which are based on economic considerations. In addition, there are some financial considerations in recruiting women. For example, there are no male children in the family to support the elderly, or the male children are too young to engage in production. Or the widow recruits a son-in-law to help with the production, etc. It's all due to economic considerations.

Son-in-law marriage is actually also influenced by the concept of continuing the family line. Ancient China valued the continuation of the clan, and it would be a very serious situation if there was no male heir in the family to inherit the incense. In this case, there are generally two options. One is to adopt a male heir from a relative of the same clan. The other is to recruit a son-in-law, let him change the woman's name, and the children will follow the mother's nature, thus inheriting the continuation of the family. This is one of the main reasons besides economic reasons.

Azhuo asked: I heard that there are several forms of adopting a son-in-law?

Dorje replied:

Yes. There are indeed many forms of son-in-law, mainly four:

To support a son-in-law in old age means to marry into the woman's family and take care of the family business for her, to provide for her parents-in-law until they die, and they can inherit the family business. There is no time limit for this form. Generally, one can only leave the woman's family after her death.

A time-limited surrogate son-in-law means that when signing a surrogate son-in-law's marriage contract, a time limit is agreed upon. After that time, the man can bring the woman back to the original family. In this case, the adopted son-in-law does not need to provide for his parents-in-law until they die, and cannot inherit his wife's family business.

The form of adopting a son-in-law is not very clear. Leaving the house means not living with the woman’s family. Some indicate in the marriage certificate how many years they will leave the home, and some simply leave the home and live elsewhere. The specific situation is similar to other forms.

The adoption of a son-in-law into the clan generally refers to the time specified in the marriage contract for the adoption of a son-in-law, after which he can return to the original clan. He is also the only person who has been recruited into the family and now returns to his clan.

There are also some individual circumstances that may lead to the occurrence of extramarriage, such as the daughter who really loves her daughter and is reluctant to marry outside the family; and local customs and habits, etc. In the final analysis, the main reason for the phenomenon of having a son-in-law is the right time. Either for economic reasons or for the continuation of the clan, it is basically a last resort. Of course, some individual cases of coveting property cannot be ruled out.

Duoji Zhizhu sang a humorous ballad "Inside the Door":

 

A man who has no money cuts the door upside down under his skirt,

The success of a son-in-law depends on his father-in-law.

In the Yuan Dynasty, the status of a son-in-law was improved.

Not bound by traditional etiquette.

 

Looking back at the successful married men of past generations,

There are too many sons-in-law to take advantage of the dragon.

Put down your manhood and become a son-in-law,

Special marriage is also the path to success.

 

Marriage is not all based on a piece of paper;

Nowadays, non-marriage and childbearing have become popular.

Is marriage love or affection?

What is the purpose of having children?

 

There are too many mistresses and mistresses to count;

The rich lady falls in love with the little fresh meat.

Marriage disputes are constantly happening nowadays.

It's all about money as matchmaker.

 

Looking back at the three thousand emperors and beauties,

There is no upper limit on the remarriage of contemporary powerful people.

The world has long become chaotic,

How many people will grow old together with white hair?

 

元朝的赘婚制（雪域寓言）

 

元朝的赘婚制

 

缅甸音乐家多吉在缅甸伊洛瓦底江畔与阿古登巴、阿卓、楚三星闲聊时，谈到蒙古那些事，涉及较多的是元朝时的政治、军事和文化、教育。达瓦、向奇玛，只是旁听者，几乎并不感兴趣。多吉的女儿雅丹，注意到了这一点。于是雅丹就对父亲说：“你能不能讲些关于蒙古人的婚姻故事和习俗？达瓦和向奇玛，一定会感到好奇。”

阿古登巴和阿卓、楚三星笑了，说道：我们也爱听哇！

楚三星又补了一句：听说蒙古人有男人倒插门的赘婚制度，多吉先生不妨讲些这方面的故事。

多吉点头说道：

中国自古是男权中心的社会，一切政治经济活动都围绕男性中心展开。汉朝以后更是强调礼教三纲五常，将人划分成三六九等，尤其女性永远居于男性之下。

在这种观念基础上，以女性为经济主体的赘婿身份不免受到严重的歧视乃至打压，以致被笑称雄妇人。尤其是各朝各代纷纷建立法律对以男性为中心的族姓继承等，用种种制度予以保护。这种情况下赘婿毫无权力可言。

另外中国古代传统上是宗族聚居，赘婿往往意味着要和女方整个大家族聚居在一起，要面对的不只是女方父母兄弟姐妹等，还要面对女方整个宗族。宗族内部难免会有各种的冲突，地位低下的赘婿毫无话语权，实际上面临着巨大的压力。

蒙古民族广泛的存在赘婿婚姻，因此出于习俗的原因比较接受这种婚姻形式。另外蒙古族不受孔子礼教的影响，更加注重实际，因此对赘婿相对的更宽容。元朝是由草原民族建立的国家，由此赘婿婚姻也就在汉族中合法化了。

多吉先生又说道：

中国很早就建立了以男权为主的社会，各种社会生活都围绕着男性中心展开。女性往往沦为男性的附庸，政治，经济，祖宗祭祀等更是基本将女性角色排除在外。女性不能出仕为官，基本没有继承权，祭祀中更是不见女性身影，家庭生活中完全以男性为尊。

在此基础上的中国婚姻制度，自然是以男婚女嫁为主。婚后的女子，家庭财产等都是由男方掌控。但是在此汉族主流婚姻状况之外，一直还存在一种特殊的婚姻形式，这就是赘婚。赘婚就是以女性为主体，女子不外嫁，男性倒插门入女家为婿。

赘婚，这种形式有着非常悠久的历史，最早的赘婚可追溯至周朝时期。基于传统观念里的男尊女卑思想，这种婚姻形式自然备受歧视，甚至被明令打压，限制一些基本权力。但是在蒙古人统治的元朝这样一个特殊的时期，赘婿有着它的特殊状态。

多吉先生较为详细地阐述了元朝以前汉人对赘婚的态度：

从最早的春秋时期《公羊传》中的“就婿”开始，赘婿这种形式就开始见诸史端，历朝历代多有关于赘婿的记载。这说明赘婿这种主流之外的婚姻形式不是偶然的个例，应该是有相当的规模，足以引起舆论乃至统治阶级的关注。史书关于赘婚的记载，除个别时期特殊风俗外，基本是压制，贬低这种态度，甚至是从法律层面的进行打压规定。

令人震惊的是汉人将赘婿与罪犯等同。

秦汉时期，将赘婿列为低等人，除了没有经济地位，在攻城打仗时也被强制征召驱赶在最前锋充当炮灰，和平时期也是与罪犯、商人等，优先被征召发配，永久戍边。赘婿“如人疣赘，是余剩之物。”将赘婿视为多余之物，可见地位之低下。汉人赘婿的这种处境，一直持续到魏晋五代时期。那时汉人已失去了绝对控制权。

但是，虽然到后世的唐朝不再将赘婿视为与罪犯等同，随时被发配充军等，但是对赘婿的基本态度在随后基本没有大的变化。赘婿连基本的经济权力都没有，更不要提政治权力。赘婿离开生养父母，去侍奉别人父母的行为，尤其不能被主张孝悌的儒家礼教接受。因此在历朝历代的赘婿，都不能出任官吏，也不能参加科举。

多吉又说道：

这种情况在唐宋时期略有改观，唐朝时期的赘婿就可以获得一部分财产，甚至可以自立门户。像唐朝时期的大诗人李白，就曾两度为赘婿。到宋朝，招赘在一些地区成为一时风范，赘婿可以根据遗嘱获得财产继承权。但是总体来说，从民众到国家法律对赘婿的态度，仍然视其为低贱的。但是对这种婚姻形式，在元朝之前也并没有进行明文的法律规范。直到元朝，这种婚姻制度才为政府制定法律予以认可。

阿卓问道：

元朝为什么会对赘婿态度进行改变？

多吉答道：

元朝是中国历史上一个特殊时期，它是第一个由游牧民族蒙古族建立的政权。因此在元朝的社会生活中难免受到蒙古族习俗的影响，元朝的律法制度也与之前的朝代均有不同。

蒙古族的婚姻形式比较多样，赘婿这种婚姻形式在蒙古族的婚姻中非常普遍。成吉思汗就曾入赘为婿，因此蒙古统治者对这种婚姻形式也比较重视，在制定法律的时候，将这种婚姻形式进行了详细的规范。元朝第一次承认了赘婿的社会地位，尤其是允许赘婿享受继承财产的权力，以及不禁止参加科举，赘婿有了出任官职的权力。这种官方层面对赘婿态度的官方认可和改变，就为元朝时期赘婚的普遍风行奠定了基础。

元朝时期的汉人依据汉族人的习俗，婚嫁聘礼崇尚奢靡，不管富家贫民都要大量财物做聘礼。这种情况极大的破坏了底层百姓的生产生活，元朝政府对此便进行了法律层面的规制，但是始终不能解决。因此，众多无力聘娶的汉族男子，只能选择做各种形式的赘婿。

元朝政府从本民族习俗出发，并不歧视赘婿婚姻，同时在法律形式上对赘婿婚姻进行了详实的明确规定。而且从流传下的史料上可以看到，元朝的司法人员也是依照这些法律进行赘婿婚姻纠纷的处理。

元朝对赘婿婚姻的基本程序，如对婚书、聘财、.媒妁都做了明确的规定：

元代时期婚书第一次成了婚姻的法定文件。赘婚要求男女双方都要写，要求写明赘婚的形式、时限、聘财数量、赘婿的权力、义务等，都要明确的写明，以方便在遇到纠纷时可以作为证据。一旦签订婚书就具备的法律效力，不得违反。元朝法律对种种违反婚书的行为做了明确详实的处理规定。婚书相对于现在的一个合同，从法律层面上维护了双方的利益。实际上认可了赘婚的形式，提高了赘婿的社会地位。

赘婿的聘财与正常婚姻不同。一般是女方给男方，一些赘婚形式也有男方给女方的。元朝律法根据赘婚形式的不同，将聘财的情况，数量做了详细的规定。聘财的数量，收受双方要明文写在婚书上，以备将来诉讼作为依据。此外，对于产生纠纷时，各种情况下是否退还聘财，元朝律法都有详细规定。在流传下来史料中也可以看到此类判例。

媒妁在中国的传统婚姻中一直居于重要地位。但是直到元朝的司法中，才明确了在婚姻关系中媒妁的责任。在婚姻的重要文件上，媒妁做为促成人要签字，以示为这段婚姻负责。这种制度限制了媒人在促成婚姻时，为了利益原因欺骗男女双方，导致以后的婚姻出现状况，维护了婚姻的稳定，避免了纠纷的产生。

元朝对赘婚法律层面的规范，实际上保护了婚姻双方的权力，也是应对赘婚纠纷众多的举措。它在中国历史上第一次明确的保护了赘婚的男性一方的权益。

多吉笑着对阿古登巴和阿卓、楚三星说道：

所以，一方面元朝政府改变歧视赘婿的态度，从法律层面的规定保障了赘婿的经济政治权力，另一方面呈现了民间高昂的聘礼习俗。这两个方面综合起来就形成了元朝风行的赘婚现象。

楚三星问道：

元朝律法对赘婿婚姻作了规范和保障，但为何这种婚姻形式从古至今，仍然屡见不鲜？

多吉答道：

其根本原因大抵有两个：一是经济原因；二是传宗接代的理念影响。

男方成为赘婿的主要考虑就是经济。元朝时会流行厚聘礼，贫家子弟无力承受，只能选择做赘婿。元朝时期还有些富家子弟也选择做赘婿，也是因为法律赋予了赘婿相应的继承权，出于经济的考虑。或者家里男子太多，实在无力一一承担聘礼，其中部分也只能选择做赘婿。那些无数在战争中人家破人亡的孤儿，无力自己聘娶妻子，也只能成为赘婿。除此之外，还有躲避税赋服役的考虑，均是出于经济方面的考虑。另外女子招赘也有些是经济方面的考虑，比如家中没有男性子嗣养老，或者男性子嗣太小无力从事生产。或者寡妇招上门女婿，帮忙操持生产等。也都是出于经济方面的考虑。

赘婿婚姻其实也受到了传宗接代的理念影响。中国古代重视宗族延续，如果家中没有男性子嗣继承香火是非常严重的情况。这种情况下，一般有两个选择，一是过继，从同宗族亲属那边过继一个男性继承人。另一种就是招赘一个女婿，让他更换女方姓名，生下的孩子也跟随母性，从而继承宗族的延续。这也是除经济原因外的主要原因之一。

阿卓问道：听说赘婿的形式有好几种？

多吉答道：

是的。赘婿确实有多种多样的形式，主要是四种：

养老赘婿，是指赘入女方家庭为女方操持家业，为岳父母养老送终，可以继承家业。这种形式没有时间限制，一般只有在妻子去世才能离开女方家庭。

年限赘婿，是指在签订赘婿婚书的时候，约定时间限制，到时间后男方可携女方回归原来家庭。这种情况的赘婿无需为岳父母养老送终，不能继承妻家家业。

出舍赘婿，这种形式界定不是很清晰。出舍是指不与女方家庭居住在一起的意思。有的是在婚书上注明多少年后出舍，有些是直接出舍另居。具体情况上与其他形式多有相似。

归宗赘婿，归宗赘婿一般是指在婚书中明确赘婿的时间，到期后可以回到原来宗族。也是只曾经被招赘，现在回归本宗族的人。

赘婚的产生还有一些个别情况，比如实在疼爱女儿不舍得外嫁；以及地方的习俗习惯等。归根结底，赘婿现象的主要原因是时措之宜。或出于经济原因，或者出于延续宗族的考虑，基本上是迫不得已的选择。当然也不排除一些个别觊觎财产的情况。

多吉唱起了一首诙谐的民谣《倒插门》：

 

男人无财裙下倒插门，

赘婿飞黄腾达靠丈人。

元朝赘婿地位有提升，

不受传统礼法之约束。

 

反视历代赘婚成功男，

乘龙快婿多得数不清。

放下男人身段做赘婿，

特殊婚姻也是成功路。

 

婚姻不是全凭一张纸，

如今不婚不育已风行。

婚姻究竟是爱还是情，

生儿育女又是为哪般？

 

二奶小三多得数不清，

豪姐富婆恋上小鲜肉。

时下婚姻纠纷理不断，

全是金钱牵线作媒妁。

 

回望帝王佳丽三千人，

当代权贵再婚无上限。

世风早已变得乱象生，

白发携手到老有几人？

 

The imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty

 

The imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty

 

A snare is a tool for catching fish and birds; it is also a metaphor for laws and legal nets; it is a means of searching and collecting. There is a Chinese idiom called "throw yourself into a snare", which means: throw yourself into a snare, which is a metaphor for committing suicide. The imperial examination system in Chinese history can be said to be a net-wide measure to capture intellectuals to “enclose the world’s talents.”

When Dorji took his daughter Yadan and chatted with Agudenba, Dawa, Azhuo, Chu Sanxing and Xiang Qima on the banks of the Irrawaddy River in Myanmar, Dorji talked about things in Mongolia, culture, and education.

Dorje said:

The Yuan Dynasty faced a difficult problem at the beginning of its establishment, that is, how to rule the huge country of China. The first measure taken by the rulers of the Yuan Dynasty was to carry out large-scale restructuring and reform. The most important one is the implementation of the imperial examination system. In ancient Chinese history, the imperial examination system has always been the main way to select officials. The imperial examination system was a large net for intellectuals. The intellectuals who threw themselves into the net were the elite of society, the vassals of the imperial court, and the puppets of the government.

The Yuan Dynasty learned from the important measures of the political education system of the Tang and Song dynasties when it ruled China, and we can see the conflict and integration of Han and Mongolian cultures.

At the beginning of the founding of the Yuan Dynasty, the imperial examination system was abolished. Later, the Yuan Dynasty reformed the imperial examination system:

First of all, the Yuan Dynasty expanded the scope of the imperial examination system to the whole country, abolished the system of local officials recommending candidates during the Tang and Song Dynasties, and replaced it with national provincial examinations, joint examinations, and palace examinations. This kind of reform not only increases the opportunities for selecting talents, but also helps unify the national system and enhance the authority of the central government. Secondly, the Yuan Dynasty abolished the examiner system of the imperial examinations in the Tang and Song Dynasties and replaced it with examiners dispatched by the central government, thereby ensuring the fairness of the examination. In addition, the Yuan Dynasty also increased the difficulty of the imperial examinations, requiring candidates to have higher cultural and political qualities. This reform encouraged students to study hard and improved their cultural level.

Different from the imperial examination system of the Song Dynasty, the imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty merged the civil and military subjects, which were called military examinations and civil examinations. The martial arts examination is divided into three levels, namely number one, second place and third place; the civil examination is divided into Jinshi, Juren and Xieyuan. Under the imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty, both Han and Mongolians could take the imperial examination, but the proportion of Han people was higher.

Dorje added:

As time went by, the imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty gradually changed. First, the scope of the imperial examination was gradually expanded to include not only Han and Mongolians, but also southern ethnic minorities and foreigners.

Secondly, there are changes in examination format and content. The imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty canceled the poetry and Fu subjects of the Tang Dynasty, and added contents such as Classics and Yi and the Hundred Schools of Thought. At the same time, the imperial examinations of the Yuan Dynasty no longer emphasized the study and application of poetry, but paid more attention to the mastery of national politics and economy.

The imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty also experienced certain evolution during its implementation. The most important evolution was the gradual rise in the status of the imperial examination system, which became the main way to select officials and improve social status. In this process, the imperial examination system played an important role in selecting talents and improving social status.

In the early days of the Yuan Dynasty, the imperial examination system was mainly used to select officials. With the passage of time, the scope of the imperial examination system gradually expanded, becoming an important way for scholars to improve their social status. In the late Yuan Dynasty, the imperial examination system gradually became the only way to rise in society. This evolution also promotes the cultural progress and social stability of society.

In addition, the imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty also made some adjustments and reforms in terms of talent selection standards, examination content and methods. For example, in the late Yuan Dynasty, the tribute system was added, that is, the system of obtaining imperial examination qualifications by contributing documents. This system provided a way for people who were either rich or noble to enter the scholar class.

In addition, in the late Yuan Dynasty, the content and standards of the imperial examinations were strengthened, and the examination of political quality was intensified, which had a positive effect on improving the quality and political level of officials.

In general, the imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty played an important role in its implementation and evolution, and contributed to the cultural progress and social stability of ancient China.

Dorje continued:

The implementation of the imperial examination system in the Yuan Dynasty had an impact on Han and Mongolian culture. In the imperial examination system of the Yuan Dynasty, Han and Mongolian culture had different manifestations. The imperial examination system was one of the cultural policies under the rule of the Yuan Dynasty. Its purpose was to promote Han culture, but it also inevitably triggered the conflict and integration of Han and Mongolian cultures. During the implementation of the system, Chinese culture and Mongolian culture blended with each other, resulting in some new cultural phenomena. The Han people gained political and social status through the imperial examinations, which also promoted the development of Han culture during the Yuan Dynasty.

The conflict between Han and Mongolian cultures is mainly reflected in examination subjects and cultural identity. The imperial examination system was based on Chinese culture. Mongolian candidates needed to study Chinese culture and pass the Chinese culture exam to obtain official positions. During this process, Mongolian candidates faced language and cultural barriers, which made them face great difficulties in the examination. On the other hand, Han officials often discriminate and unfairly treat Mongolian candidates. The implementation of the imperial examination system in the Yuan Dynasty allowed the Han people to occupy a higher political position, which aroused dissatisfaction among the Mongols. The proportion of Han people taking the imperial examinations was higher than that of Mongolians, and the Han people also had a great advantage in the proportion of obtaining official positions. This situation gradually improved in the later period, but the rights and interests of the Mongols were still affected, which intensified the cultural conflict between Han and Mongolia.

In the late Yuan Dynasty, the imperial examination system began to increase the assessment of Mongolian language and culture, providing an opportunity for the integration of Han and Mongolian cultures. Mongolian candidates gradually understand and accept Chinese culture through the study of Chinese culture, which strengthens the connection between Han and Mongolian cultures and promotes the integration of Han and Mongolian cultures. In the process of mutual integration, Han and Mongolian cultures gradually formed a unique cultural style, which had a profound impact on the development of Chinese history and culture.

Duoji sang a folk song "Behind the Net":

 

​Snares are tools for catching birds and beasts.

The bird will not be trapped in the snare if it does not move.

Birds flying high are afraid of being entangled by kites.

Birds fly low for fear of being trapped.

The giant venomous spider is good at building webs.

I cast a dragnet but couldn't catch the sand gull.

 

The feudal imperial examination system is a cruel yoke.

It is difficult for social elites to escape the trap of fame and fortune.

No matter how much you say you envy freedom,

As a result, many heroes fell into the trap one after another.

Those students who dreamed of becoming the emperor's vassal,

If you abandon the truth, you will be scorned through the ages.

 

The autocratic empire has traps everywhere,

Skynets for arrests and killings are everywhere.

I can only sing praises to the Emperor and say long live them.

Don't make any nonsense to discredit the imperial court.

Intellectuals who pursue fame and fortune throw themselves into a trap;

There are unspeakable secrets hidden behind the social elite.