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作家、摄影家、民间文艺家

2020年7月1日星期三

Liberate yourself Chapter 43



1

Life is short, many things can't be kept, but they can't be forgotten. In life, even if no one applauds, it is necessary to call the curtain gracefully, and not to waste your serious efforts; how others think of you is not important, and how you view yourself is more important.
There is love in the world and love in the world. What impressed me the most is that I always care about my big brother, and he taught me: what is the feeling of fellow brothers.
When I was in elementary school, the parents' meeting was basically held by my elder brother. Mother also asked Big Brother to check my homework.
Remember, I wrote essays in school, and the proposition was "My...". I wrote "My Father". In the composition, I imagined that my father was a veteran of the New Fourth Army. He left home to participate in the revolution for many years, and later participated in the Northeast Liberation War. His father was not afraid of bloodshed and sacrificed, and made military achievements.
When I proudly showed the composition to Big Brother, I did not expect Big Brother to be very angry and furious. He criticized me for being unrealistic and blindly editing. The problem here is mainly: Dad is no longer a fighting hero, but has become a rightist.
Big Brother criticized me fiercely.
Now think of it, father's history should not be wiped out, the narrative and description about him are still true. But Big Brother's criticism is correct. If I handed over the composition to the teacher, the teacher at that time would hold the matter down to a political event, otherwise my elementary school student would really not be able to walk around.

2

My grades were good in elementary school. But once I scored a 3 (out of 5), I was a little nervous, I was afraid that Big Brother would criticize me. But at night, Big Brother picked up my notebook and looked at my 3 points. He was not angry and did not criticize me severely, just said: "The next time you pay attention."
If I don't have a good grade, I don't need to examine myself deeply next to my elder brother, and then stand there, looking at him sincerely with guilt on my face, waiting for his criticism.
Big Brother always gives me more tolerance and encouragement, and I never have the pressure to learn.
Sometimes Big Brother gave some suggestions to my teacher. In the summer vacation, you can arrange the students' study group activities in my home. My family is not big. During the day, I can let my students study in the alley.
I have strong organizational skills, and the teacher agreed with Big Brother’s suggestion. My classmates and I often do homework in the alley during the summer vacation. At that time our work was not much. After finishing our homework, we played in the alley.
Looking back on these past events, this kind of childishness at that time also somewhat dilute some of the loneliness in old age.

3

Most of the good things in life are short-lived, and we should not spend our time entangled in the length of their stay and existence, but should grasp every moment we have, enjoy them, cherish them, appreciate them. The most memorable thing in the world is the love of parents.
But my parents left me more memory of pain in my childhood. The father was unjustly persecuted, and the mother lost her original happy marriage.
Gathering is the destiny, to stay at will. Children can't be embarrassed to insist on their parents' marriage. Children can only treat everyone around them, especially their parents. Children should be kind to everything your parents leave to you. Even if it is doom and suffering, there will be a happy ending in life.
The marriage between mother and father broke down, the loss of mother and the hatred of father all vented to me. Because, she always said that I looked like my father, even speaking and acting exactly the same. I often peeled my hair in front of my neighbor and said, "Look, this little red guy has two hair roots swirling on his head, and his temper is stubborn."
Why is there only one hair root vortex above others, but I am two?
I started looking for answers about hair from books. The hair of foreigners, some have golden wavy hair, and some are short black hair curled on the scalp. What the hell is going on?
In fact, hair color and skin color are determined by melanin. If the amount of granular melanin contained in the hair cortex is greater, the hair becomes darker. If the hair medulla also contains melanin, the hair color is even darker; on the contrary, if the melanin is distributed in a solution state, it often makes the hair have a red color; and the golden hair contains a lot of melanin in solution Sake. The hair color of various nationalities in my country is mostly dark brown and black.
Human hair color also often changes with age. Generally speaking, after entering middle age, the gap in hair tissue increases, the granular melanin gradually decreases and disappears, and the hair gradually turns yellow. When there is air between the cortical cells, the hair becomes white.  
In addition to changes in age, hair color is also affected by health conditions, sunlight, and climate. For example, severe malnutrition and disease can make hair white early; excessive worry and nervousness can also make hair white, even faster. As for some people with premature gray hair, it is mainly related to genetic quality or mental state.
Since hair color, like skin color and eye color, is determined by melanin, there is a close correlation between the three. Worldwide, light-skinned people are often accompanied by light hair and eye color, while dark-skinned people are often accompanied by dark hair and eye color, such as the Nordic, the skin is white, the hair is golden, the eyes It's azure blue. And black people, regardless of skin color, hair color or eyes are black.
Human hair is not only of various colors, but also of different shapes. Some are straight hair, including hard straight hair, flat straight hair, microwave hair; some are wave hair, wide wave hair, narrow wave hair, curly wave hair; others are curly hair, thin curly hair, loose curly hair, tight curly hair, loose spiral hair And tight spiral hair. Chinese have the most straight hair. Especially the northerners rarely see the waves, but the southerners can see a few waves, and the more southward, the more waves.
How are these different hair shapes formed? It turns out that the shape of the hair shaft is mainly formed in the hair follicles in the skin, which is determined by the shape of the hair root. The length of the hair is related to the shape of the hair.
Hair can grow about 0.3 mm in a day and night, which is related to various factors such as race, age, nutrition, mood and health, and season. For example, it is hot in summer and the hair grows faster; winter is cold and it grows more slowly. The thickness of the hair can directly affect the hardness of the hair. Some people think that thin and soft hair is easy to fall off, and hard and thick hair is easy to turn white.
As for the density of hair, it is related to the thickness. The thinner the hair, the denser it becomes. In terms of the number of hairs per square centimeter, among the major races, white people are the most, black people are second, and yellow people are the least. Some people once calculated that the number of hairs per square centimeter is 408 for Italians, 236 for Sudan, 238 for Japanese, and 224 for Chinese.
So what is going on?
It turns out that human hair does have different spins. The difference in hair rotation is the number, direction, and location of the hair rotation, the distance between the center of the hair rotation and the apex of the head, and the angle formed by the connection between the head apex and the hair center and the median line of the head.

4

According to the research results of some famous anthropologists, it is found that the number of hair rotations is single, accounting for 89-96%, two less than 10%, and three only 0.6%; the direction of hair rotation is clockwise. More, accounting for 57-68%, less in the counterclockwise direction; the hair rotation site is more on the left side of the head, accounting for 57-63%, followed by the right side of the head, accounting for 33-42%, in the head Those above the midline account for only 1 to 4%, and very few in other parts.
The thick hair on the head is one of the characteristics of human beings. The hair shaft of the hair is inclined to the skin. The oblique direction of many hairs is the same, called hair flow or hair flow. The hair flow can form a center outward on the top of the head, and the hair around it is arranged in a vortex, which is commonly known as "hair rotation".
Usually people have a hair spin, mostly at the top of the head, or left to right. A few people have two or three hair spins, and some hair spins are located in the front of the head, forming a special hair flow.
According to the older generation, those with two twirls on their heads are smarter, and their thoughts change faster, and they are smarter than those with one twirling.
I remember in the story of "The Legend of the Condor Heroes", Zhou Botong saw Ying Aunt and asked the first sentence: "Is there a spin or two spins on our son's head?"
Aunt Ying said: "It's two spins."
Zhou Botong said: "That's good, like me! Very smart!"
It can be seen that the theory of the cleverness of people with two twists has been confirmed in the Song Dynasty of China!
But why did my mother always use the two hairpins on my head?
I once asked the middle school teacher: "Is it long to spin two hairs, isn't it?"
The teacher told me: "Among the students I have taught, two students with long spins are really not worse than others in thinking. They only need to read a text three times, most of them will memorize it. But they are mostly boys. , Maybe it’s the favor of the elders, they are relatively lazy. So their results are not necessarily better than others."
Another math teacher said: "In a math class, I saw the students are a little tired, and I said that as long as I finished the questions on the blackboard, I could go out and play. As a result, I was surprised that the fastest The student is a student with two twists on his head. However, he usually doesn’t like to do homework, often does not turn in homework, and does not take class seriously..."
The teacher may be right. My mother always called me "lazy", but also said that I was very smart.
But what the neighbors said was inconsistent with what the teacher said.
Some neighbors said to their mother: "Two wigs grow on their heads and they will marry two wives in the future."
Some neighbors said, "The two long-twisted children are naughty, but they are very clever. You have to control him well, maybe you will be an individual in the future!"
On one occasion, a woman in the alley held her newborn child and happily said to the neighbors: "Look, my son, two hairs grow on his head."
My mother glanced at me and grunted: "What's so proud of this."
My mother always has a strange feeling for me. When she talked about her father, she always called him "big red guy", and she always said "little red guy".

5

My mother loved my big brother very much. My elder brother graduated from elementary school, so he gave up his apprenticeship to make money to support this family. Mother also likes little sister and little brother. The reason for liking the little girl is simple. She gave birth to five sons and only gave birth to the little girl. She likes the younger brother for the same reason. He is the youngest and needs care. The reason why I don't like me is because I always think that when my father was there, he was partial to me.
I have lost my father’s love, and my mother’s love has not been enough. In fact, I have been distorted by this society and family into a "spiritual orphan".
Sometimes, after school, I will come alone to Dong Zhengda opposite the former residence
In front of the church, sitting on the steps, looking at the home where he once lived. Especially when I went to middle school and took classes in the branch school, I sat next to the classroom window next to my house and saw the children of other people, singing and dancing in the room where I lived, and seeing the bathroom. Only a big white bathtub, I often feel like a needle.
I do not understand that his father was bleeding and wounded for the revolution and was born and died. He gave everything for the new China. After the founding of New China, he lost everything, and even his own children could not see him again.
I don’t understand, why should the mother believe the words of those people, participate in the so-called disclosure of her father, and force her father to death? What benefits does this bring to herself?
The thoughts and thoughts of my father and the love and hatred of my mother have never been wiped out of my heart.

6

I often walk alone on the familiar Gaolan Road, and I will stare blankly at the round vault of St. Nicholas Cathedral.
Today, this quiet path is full of bars and full of bright lights.
A song came from the bar, it was Luo Dayou’s song:

I heard someone's voice like the whimper in that dream
I saw the pace of someone who was far away covering the sad eyes when saying goodbye
I don’t understand why you are willing to let Feng Chen scribe your look
It’s like the world that has long forgotten has your name and my voice
That sad song always wakes up in a dream and tells a little sad past

What seemed to carelessly turn around was the shadow of bleakness after the dry tears
I don’t understand why people can’t dissolve you in the world.
Are you late for tomorrow's source? Thank you for your smile, my mood

The same you
Standing in the vast world
smart kid  
Carrying a fragile lantern
Dashing you
Turn your mind into the dust
Lonely child
You are the grace of creation

The same you
Standing in the vast world
smart kid  
Carrying a beloved lantern
Dashing you
Turn your mind into the dust
Lonely child
You are the grace of creation

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